I have found that ‘Going Inwards’ when there is so much going on outside of you is a tonic like no other. With life being the way it is at the moment – unpredictable, finding stillness and going within has become more important then ever before. Becoming your own best friend and ally in a world that is pulling you in a million different directions and telling you what you ‘need’ to be, is truly powerful.
It took me my entire life to realise that the things going on outside of me – what I was seeing and experiencing was a reflection of what I needed to work out on the inside of me.
It took me years to actually take time away from outside influences and sit undisturbed with no distractions in order to begin to heal. I finally found myself when I turned inward.
Out of everyone I lost, I missed myself the most.
I finally realised that in order for me to feel good again, I had to declutter all the noise outside of me and work on my thoughts and my beliefs.
There was a time that I believed that everything outside of me was superior to me, that I was a lesser being and I had nothing to offer and so I wasted years trying to be someone else or something else. I couldn’t see any good inside of me so I was always looking outside of me. I was looking outwards for acceptance, love and validation for who I was, when in reality I had no idea of who I was.
Nowadays I really cherish alone time. It allows me to recalibrate and come back to myself before I re enter the world and see loved ones. It allows me to take a moment to gather myself. It keeps me true to who I am.
Influence of Social Media
I have found that Social Media can be a force for great things or a place that can drain you of all your resources very quickly. It does depend on how you use it but if you are a frequent user, you will likely need to set boundaries for your self.
We have become so distant from ourselves and we are constantly bombarded with messages and images telling us who and what we should be. One look at Social media will show you that individuality seems to be going out of the window.
Everything from the way we look/shop/talk/who we are – is dictated to us through advertising/celebrity/media and many of us have brought into these things because they are designed to make us feel a certain way. Like we are not enough as we are.
But that message also comes with some small print. You can be whatever you want to be if you do this/that/just spend a little money to fix whatever issue you may think you have.
Certain behaviours and posessions can determine your popularity in life and online and that is why we can fall into behaviours that may not necessarily fit with who we are.
So we bend and we change and we adapt who we are and our reactions to fit in. We mute our voices to avoid social inclusion.
Sometimes, we reach what we think is the pinnacle of success but we still feel empty inside. Why?
When we observe a toddler or young child express pure joy, anger, or excitement we see that they never hold back on account of how anyone else may feel but somewhere along the line, we stopped doing the same. We hold back, breathe, in, shut up, make ourselves small until we are barely recognisable.
Distractions and Going Inwards
We use an array of distractions and sometimes it is necessary because life can get too heavy but distraction does not work forever and that balm soon runs out.
For example, using screens all day alongside a normal working day and filling up every moment with Social Media can get exhausting and leave you feeling frazzled because you are absorbing SO much information as well as other people’s ideas/values/thoughts. We pour all of our energy into it until we have no time to think.
In reality when your own energy feels off, the best thing to do is take a step back from people and distractions until you feel like yourself again.
Whose idea is it anyway?
What gains popularity and momentum is carefully curated.
For example, hustle culture gains momentum and everyone is burning themselves out just to keep up. Coffee Machines become the machine to have this year and even those who aren’t into coffee are looking into buying one.
Another example – certain features are very often pushed forward as the standard of beauty. 😕 and we rarely see features that don’t match that idea.
Diversity goes out of the window and we now have ways to achieve the look via filters, clever shading using makeup, fillers or surgery. The message being that there is only one standard of beauty and any features that don’t match that, are not as desirable.
Freedom is letting go of the pressure to be anything other then yourself.Allison Sadler
What does Going Inwards mean?
It means coming home to yourself and sitting with yourself long enough to get a true understanding of who you are, why you are here, what you have to offer and accepting and loving yourself just as you are, along the way.
It means that you stop caring about Keeping up with the Jones’s. You drop any facade. You don’t follow all the trends all at once. You allow space for you to come back to yourself and understand what works for you and what doesn’t. You know you. You reconnect with your self, your voice, your ideas and your values and realise there was nothing wrong with them in the first place. You own who you are.
You only let in or follow what works for you and is beneficial to you without feeling the need to become anyone else. You stop looking for validation from anyone else.
It means you stop abandoning your ideas to fit in with a particular group of people.
It means that you fully and completely accept and APPRECIATE who you are. You are aware of your core values and that you are ever evolving and learning. You know what you can give and you rise to the challenge for the greater good.
Not everything is for you
We are living in the age of information but not every message is for you. When you go inwards and come home to yourself, you will realise what resonates with you and is for you and what to leave behind.
Only you know what is best for you. Only you know your values.
Any message that takes you away from who you are, is not for you. Anything that doesn’t fit with your values, isn’t for you.
How to start going inwards – 4 ways
Observe your feelings without judgement but don’t become them – Allow them to come, then release them. They are there to serve a purpose. If you feel uneasy but you don’t understand why, make a note of it and see what your subconscious brings up.
Journal – Notice when you aren’t being yourself. Who are you with? What are you around? Then begin to journal. Every morning or whenever you feel like it, journal. Write until you no longer can. This will help you to understand your behaviour better.
Schedule in some time for you – A happy hour of sorts. You may struggle to fill the hour to begin with but do as much as you can without feeling the pressure to fill the entire hour. You can do whatever you like during this time. I like to do a facial, read or watch something funny or uplifting.
Write down the 1 thing you would continue to do even if you weren’t paid any money for it – Also if you had all the resources in the world, what would you continue to do. I would never stop reading, writing or cooking/baking. This will help you to gain an understanding of your purpose.
Keep in mind..
Anytime you abandon yourself and your ideas to fit into someone else’s ideas, you do a disservice to yourself.
Releasing the urge to keep up with everyone else and trusting the path that you are on comes when you stop looking outwards.
Outside validation is based on someone elses idea of what they think is great or their ideas of beauty, fashion, creativity, success etc. You may not have the same ideas or values so their opinions are just that. Theirs.
Remember.. you are your own best friend. It is only when you turn inwards, that you can get a true sense of who you are outside of all the hubbub of activity out there. Find your voice, then live who you are. Fall back in harmony with yourself so that you can hold yourself though life challenges. Set up a home inside you, a retreat. A place you can go to when you feel overwhelmed. Nourish your roots and growth will follow iA. x
**If you enjoy this post or can offer any helpful comments, please do so below. Thank you x