In a pan, dry roast coconut, peanuts and sesame seeds. Roast for 5-6 minutes and and transfer to a blender. Add little water and blend it to a fine paste and set aside.
Make a cross with a knife at the bottom of each aubergine and then soak in salted (2 - 3 tbsp) water for 30 minutes.
Heat the oil in a large pan and fry aubergines for 5 - 10 minutes until just cooked. Drain and set aside.
In the same pan add the cumin seeds, mustard seeds and curry leaves. Once they begin to splutter, add the onions. Cook for 10 minutes until golden brown.
Stir in the garlic, ginger and green chilli. Cook for 2 minutes. Then add the turmeric, kashmiri chilli powder and coriander powder. Saute for a minute before adding the prepared paste and coconut cream.
Bring to the boil and simmer covered for 20 minutes. Check in between to make sure it isn't catching. Season to taste and pour in the tamarind paste and date paste.
Add the aubergines to the masala and cook for 10 more minutes. Garnish with fried curry leaves and fried shallots.